Sundeep Katepalli and Sanjay Kataria, Philadelphia
This US Doctor duo’s wedding was a beautiful celebration of their vibrant cultures and gay pride!
Philadelphia-based Dr. Sundeep Katepalli (Internal Medicine) and Dr. Sanjay Kataria’s (Dentist) wedding wove a beautiful story of love, family, and acceptance. Adorned with the distinct colors and flavors of their Telugu and Punjabi heritage, the wedding was an amalgamation of their personalities, and saw memorable moments of music, dance, and traditions.
How They Met
Sundeep shares, “We met in 2009 at a Bhangra competition while pursuing our undergraduate degrees. I studied at Drexel University while Sanjay went to the University of Michigan, and we had a few mutual friends who introduced us. Since we were both in the Bhangra circuit competing at various competitions throughout college, we would run into each other very often. It wasn’t however till early 2014 that we matched on the dating site OkCupid. Now pursuing Post Graduate Degrees in our respective fields of medicine, we were surprised to discover the other was gay, as we had no idea till then. After a few months of chatting online, we met up for drinks in Philadelphia while both were visiting family. Sharing our interests, hopes, and dreams, that one 2-hour date turned into two, then three, and pretty soon we were head over heels for each other. After 5 years of long distance, we decided to take our love to the next level and solidify our bond amidst all our loved ones.”
Love story and Meeting family and friends
Sundeep shares, “Our love story revolved around food and travel since we were long distance for most of our relationship and would travel to each other and spend a weekend at a time every few weeks. We would plan the entire weekend around grocery shopping, meals, and restaurants we both wanted to visit. I also love to cook when I’m not working in the hospital, with my favorite cuisines being Italian, Mexican, Indian, Mediterranean, and Thai. I cook while Sanjay eats and does the dishes, perfect combo! We have also traveled together extensively around the globe and in the US, introducing each other to our friends. We are both lucky to have great friend groups, and spent a lot of time getting to know each other through our best friends, who were our second families throughout our coming out process.”
Sanjay came out to his parents at the age of 17 in high school, and they accepted him with open arms, as did his friends to whom he came out later in college. He shares, “Even though I was blessed to have such an accepting community, it was still a struggle to accept myself. I was scared about how I would be perceived by the rest of the world. I cared too much about what other people would think of me. It still took me years after coming out, but through quality time spent with my amazing family and friends, I started to fear less and live more. I began to love myself.”
Sundeep shares, “I was in complete denial all through college and into medical school. I feared rejection, and I was scared to be alone for the rest of my life without the support of my friends and family. I have been very close to my family, but since they were conservative, I feared their reaction and that I would be kicked out of the family. It was at the age of 23 that I first started to come out to a few of my friends and it felt right. I felt accepted and was starting to feel comfortable with who I was. This gave me the courage to come out to my sister and my cousins, who accepted me with open arms and made me wish I came out sooner. We always fear the unknown and here the unknown was rejection.”
He continues, “After 5 years of dating Sanjay, I finally had the courage to come out to my parents in July 2019. I first broached the conversation with my professional accomplishments, asking them if they were happy with how I turned out, and if I had fulfilled their dreams for me as a successful doctor. I then revealed that despite being so happy in my professional life, I wasn’t happy in my personal life, trying to figure out and accept who I am. I eventually admitted – I am gay and I cannot marry a woman. I shared how the South Asian community never talks about taboo topics such as politics, sex, and the LGBTQ community, but now we need to acknowledge what exists and is present all around us. I told them everything about Sanjay and his parents, about how they welcomed me with open arms, about my dreams of buying a house, marrying, and building a life with Sanjay. To my surprise, my dad spoke up and said “We don’t care about anyone else in the world besides you and your sister. Family is always going to be a priority and we accept you just as you are. We don’t care what anyone is going to say and we will always support you.” His words were more of a shock than a relief at first, but as we all tearfully embraced, all I could feel was gratitude and love for my family. I felt the weight of the world lifted off my shoulders. Weeks later, my parents reached out to a few of their friends and received a lot of great advice. They were scared of how the “community” would react, but we agreed that with baby steps, we will tackle one thing at a time together. Shortly after, Sanjay met my parents, and there was no looking back. In November 2019, we bought our new house in Philadelphia.”
He concludes, “I met Sanjay’s parents just 9 months in, very early in our relationship, and while they accepted me thoroughly and I integrated so well into their large family, Sanjay and I still struggled throughout our relationship from a family standpoint. I was so involved in his side of the family in the beginning years of our relationship while Sanjay had not met anyone from my side of the family. For me, it was an internal struggle as I feared the reaction of my parents to finding out I was gay. As soon as I came out to them, I had nothing stopping me from introducing them to Sanjay right away, and everything seamlessly fell into place. Both of our parents met in January 2020 in our new home. It was the first time visiting us for both of them as well, so it was a special day for numerous reasons. It was an emotional experience, as everyone realized that we are all in this together to accept our truths and share our love with the world with pride”.
Wedding Planning
Their vision for the wedding was to incorporate elements of Sundeep’s Telugu and Sanjay’s Punjabi heritage to celebrate their roots, as well as their pride culture in food, dance, and music. With close-knit family friends on both sides, they had about 400 people at each of their events.
Wedding Functions
Haldi
The festivities kicked off with lively haldi ceremonies for both Sundeep and Sanjay, filled with minimalistic decor and priceless moments of family fun.
Sangeet
A beautiful celebration in honor of their LGBTQ+ community, the Sangeet soiree was resplendent with pride colors as the couple and their loved ones enjoyed a night of music and dance. Sundeep and Sanjay both wore gorgeous shades of pink for the occasion. Since both of their friend groups are filled with dancers from various dance teams like Bhangra, Dandiya, Fusion, etc from their undergraduate years, the festivities saw a plethora of dance performances that lit up the dance floor.
Wedding
“We and our parents wanted a traditional, Hindu ceremony for the wedding, but we knew it would be difficult to find priests who would be willing to perform a same-sex marriage. After going through 20-25 different people over the span of 2 months and endless research through LGBTQ+ networks, we came across Priestess Kushmani Prathima Doobay, who is a queer leader herself. At first, my parents were extremely hesitant as they believed a Hindu marriage was to be conducted by a male, Brahmin priest. To that I said – What about this wedding with two gay men is traditional? We connected over Facetime and were instantly enamored with her powerful chanting and elegant voice. The way she chanted the mantras put us all into a trance, and was the highlight of our wedding day, commanding silence and attention from 400 people.”
The couple looked resplendent in beautifully coordinated ensembles of blush pink and mint green as they tied the knot in an elegant, indoor ceremony surrounded by their loved ones.
Reception
Bringing the celebrations to a grand conclusion was a formal black-tie dinner that combined elegance with high-octane energy. The color palette of gold, silver, and black offered the perfect canvas for the visual decor of lights, lasers, and TV screens that elevated DJ AJ’s riveting mix of EDM and Bollywood music.
Advice for LGBTQ+ couples
“Coming out is a process. Your friends and family love you no matter who you are, but accepting yourself is what matters the most. Once you’ve accomplished that then you can tackle the rest of the world. You have to allow time for everyone around you to understand your identity, learn about your identity and love your identity. For some, it’ll be an easier process than others, but there is always hope. Everything happens for a reason and we are on this Earth for a reason. Stay positive and share the love!”
The Wedding Makers
Venue: Loews Philadelphia Hotel
Wedding Planner: Rose Events
Decor: Partyland Sajawat, Edge Decorators, TrustJ Events
Sound and Lighting: Encore Entertainment
Outfits: Rivesse (Sangeet), Anita Dongre (Wedding), Indochino (Reception)
Makeup: Payal Jessica Shah
Priestess: Kushmani Prathima Doobay
Catering: Moghul Caterers
DJ: DJ Raj Minocha, DJ AJ
Photography: Erum Rizvi
Videography: Rare Air Films
